Funny English

Some of the Funny English Translations ...

You might need a smoke after reading this :-)

lol.. Dont ask me for explantions, pls

Used one??? I hope they don't mean it

New way of cleaning ur car... get it licked!!!

Wow!!! What an advice :-)

Its a place where ppl can dress up in ethnic chinese attire and get their pics taken!!! But this doesn't explain it, does it?

??? I have no idea

Self explanatory!!!

This is the best so far.... "with your privates" lol lol :-D

OMENS

Omens have an uncanny knack of presenting themselves at the most inauspicious or inconvenient time(i.e. when you are least expecting them). But when read correctly, they resemble Columbus's compass(why columbus??? Ahhh!!! thats because, the omens might not lead you to the destination of your choice.But will be the right one for you)

At the same time, let me clarify that, it is nothing short of foolishness to wait for an omen to tell you to proceed in the direction of your dreams. You dont think about taking a right or a left turn on a narrow straight bridge, do you?

When the destination is clear and visible, dont let omens blur your sight.

Omens can be a great helping hand (OHH- omens helping hand lol :D ) whenever you are in 2 minds.
Hmmm, for instance.. Picture this scene.. You have to go to some social gathering (maybe to grow your network, to meet the right people, to make yourself visible or maybe simply because everybody goes to such gatherings). Somehow, You feel like skipping it this time. Still, you reluctantly get dressed. And you realise your favourite shirt is not ironed!!! (Omen 1)Hmmm, Never mind, you take another (ironed) shirt and put it on and begin to button the shirt. You put the 2nd button in the 3rd hole and proceed. Its not untill the last button is left orphaned, that you realise your mistake. (Omen 2)You know, I can go on with creating more imaginary instances :) (but I hope you do get the point!!!)You probably will end up having a rotten luck at the party. Not to mention, a miserable time.
You can most certainly turn a blind eye to these omens. But isn't it better to heed to them, than go up a blind alley.

All I wanna say is..'Use your loaf' at times :P but if it doesn't help, then listen to the omens.

Niceties of Life....

Experiment :

"Close your eyes for a min and think of your childhood days (school days). Dont think of any event in particular. Just think of your carefree childhood days. What do you hear? What kinda sounds echo in your mind?

Responses :

I could hear laughter. Lots of people laughing with me. I dont remember the joke shared nor see the faces of people it was being shared with. But it sure sounded like fun. :)

Here are some of the responses from my pals (some are very vague, some quite clear, some cute, and others really stupid :D)

Deepika - I can hear all girl screams, running around and people yelling at us to shut up.(Clear)

Vijay - The sound of ball hitting the bat.(Clear)

Pree - Sounds as in, the laughter, the cries, also the gurkha sounds at nite, n the sounds that your small tiny shoes make ,n me an my sisters used to speak in funny noises... Then the dolls that used to say rhymes..(Cute)

Priyanka - Baby cry, fights with friends, classroom noises, school prayer (Clear)

Piyush - I heard "attention" and "stand it is", we used to do in our physical training class.(really stupid :D )

Akarsh - Voices, laughter, people shouting on the field...(Clear)

Namrata - How does ocean like noise sound? Well...that is the general noise I get when I close my eyes and think about anything (Vague)

Shruthi (SB) - It was very difficult but I saw laughter and tears...But i was getting my imaginary world..kids playing happily there..and all cute things around... (very very vague :)))

Conclusion :

The most evident conclusion was that people remembered things that made them smile/laugh. The other conclusion (also quite obvious) was that these were the sounds they miss listening to at present. (If you are wondering why I went through so much trouble, if the conclusion was so obvious, then guys... it was a weekend :) and I was really jobless).

Why do you think people miss these sounds? Is this the price we pay for growing up? Isn't it our choice? I know I am asking tooo many questions, without answering any of them myself. Perhaps, I dont know the answers myself.

We give up on such wonderful moments of life to get the (ever so sought) tag of "a grown up". Others' opinion matters more than our own personal happiness. Wow, thats a huge sacrifice to make!!!

Its ok to make mistakes,

Its ok to accept it,

Its ok to crack pjs,

Its ok to laugh out loud,

Its ok to play silly games with friends,

Its ok to cheat while playing them...

If you think I am a cynic, please try any of the above mentioned activities. And if that doesnt bring a smile on your face..... ummmm ... then I guess you must be an exception :))))

Try it to feel it !!!

Sketches

Some of my recent works:

• King of Hearts, Spades, Diamond or Clubs??? your guess is as good as mine :-)
  

• This was supposed to be a 4-door sedan. Space constraints turned it into a 2-door one. lol
  

• Ya... whatever!!! :)) Its incomplete though.
  

• Cute. Thats all I can say!
  

• A tribute to our politicians... btw, did you vote this time??? I did :-)
  

• I'm surprised at my own patience :))... considering that "attention to detail" was never my forte ;-)
  

• Hmmm, well.. not all that great

• This one happens to be my favourite
  

God's Chef-d'oeurve

Introduction to Deepu:

Intelligence and Innocence
though begin with the letter "I"
They nullify one another,
Are inversely proportional thereby.

The more intelligence you gain,
Furthur away you drift from innocence.
No doubt, you become more sane...
Alas!!! nothing but a (false) pretence.

But I happen to know an exception,
Of intelligence and innocence forming a perfect combination.
Deepika is her name...
Once u meet her...Life will never be the same ;)

I thought I was a sweet tempered person,
But she made me look like a curmudgeon..
With her natural bonhomie,
That always comes in handy :)

Forgive me deepu, for this awful poem. For you really deserve something thats much better than this.

I really fell short of words (not bcoz of my limited vocabulary :) ) , that explains the reason for this incomplete poem.

Well, I tried my level best to turn her into a Devil like me... but my plan just backfired. Some of her goodness rubbed onto me, in the process. :) :) :)

Wonderful Quotes

With great POWER comes great RESPONSIBILITIES
- from Spiderman

Fear is the root cause of Anger
- from Darna Mana Hai

Results are obtained by exploiting opportunities, not by solving problems
- Peter F. Drucker

Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time
- from 'The Alchemist'

The darkest hour of the night comes just before the dawn
- from 'The Alchemist'

Whenever you win in life, win as if you are used to it and whenever you lose in life, lose as if you enjoyed losing just for a change... That's ATTITUDE
- My brother thought me this :) (but I'm sure he heard it from someone else)

If someone hurts you, dont mind it. Because it is the law of nature that "The tree that bears the sweetest fruits get the maximum number of stones"
- Unknown

When God helps you in your troubles, you have faith in his abilities. And when he is delaying it, it tells you that he has faith in your ablities.
- Unknown

Happy Ganesh Chathurti

Introduction

This blog is a way to help me stay connected with my college-life. (Alas!!! :-( All good things do come to an end. ) I would start by introducing the characters that form an integral part of this humourous cum adventurous cum thrilling play that lasted for 4 years. This would provide as a prologue to the list of events that will follow (will describe them as and when time permits ;-) ). I might spice up the stories or characters a bit to make for good reading. Building up hype eh??? :-D Well, maybe.

If at any point you feel that the facts stated are mis-leading or make-believe, then my friends, I succeed in my attempts. :-)

Happy Independence Day

Some interesting facts about India :-) You probably would have come across them some time in your life. Just felt the need to list them. Dont ask why ;-)

• The number system was invented by India. Aryabhatta was the scientist who invented the digit zero.
• Sanskrit is considered as the mother of all higher languages. This is because it is the most precise, and therefore suitable language for computer software. ( a report in Forbes magazine, July 1987 ).
• Chess was invented in India.
• Algebra, Trigonometry and Calculus are studies which originated in India.
• India is the Largest democracy in the world, the 6th largest country in the world.
• The world's highest cricket ground is in Chail, Himachal Pradesh. Built in 1893 after levelling a hilltop, this cricket pitch is 2444 meters above sea level.
• India has the most post offices in the world !
• India never invaded any country in her last 100000 years of history.
• The largest employer in the world is the Indian railway system, employing over a million people !.
• The World's first university was established in Takshila in 700 BC.
• Until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds in the world .
• India exports software to 90 countries.
• The four religions born in India - Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Sikhism, are followed by 25% of the world's population.
• There are 300,000 active mosques in India, more than in any other country, including the Muslim world.
• There are 300,000 active mosques in India, more than in any other country, including the Muslim world.
• Yoga has its origins in India and has existed for over 5,000 years.
• India provides safety for more than 300,000 refugees originally from Sri Lanka, Tibet, Bhutan, Afghanistan and Bangladesh, who escaped to flee religious and political persecution।

जय हिंद !!! मेरा भारत महान !!!

In Pursuit of Justice...

I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.
-Abraham Lincoln

Why does it always need public outrage or media scrutiny to deliver justice to common man? What then about the millions of hapless victims, in pursuit of justice, who have been unfortunate enough to have not drawn public/media attention to their cases??? Dont they deserve justice? and more importantly how and when can they claim it???

The media of late, seems to be doing a commendable job of helping victims. But breaks my heart to see that the case is never followed up after being aired once. Its usually discarded after garnering a desirable TRP rating. One such case that pulled the strings of my heart was that of Nitin Redekar’s. The 27-year-old seaman working for South African based "HDSA Shipping" was arrested on charges of possessing controlled drug for the purpose of trafficking. He has been convicted and sentenced to 13 years imprisionment in Seychelles.

His story is as follows...(I've copy pasted this from a news site)
On April 20, 2007, Shear Water(a cargo vessel) anchored at Seychelles for a day.
After finishing his work, he and two other Indian seaman decided to go ashore. As they were leaving the ship, a local stevedore working as a daily wage earner on the vessel approached Nitin and asked him to deliver two packets of food to a friend of his. Those packets contained drugs.
Minutes after Nitin had put the two aluminum foil-wrapped packets in his backpack, he and fellow seamen Nijesh Nandkumar and Abrar Khan were searched by security guards.
When the packets were opened and the cannabis revealed, Nitin tried to argue that they were not his. But the stevedore he allegedly got them from had vanished. He has still not been found.
All 3 were detained by the Anti-Drugs and Maritime Squad Unit. Nandkumar and Khan were later released.For the next 4 days, Nitin was not allowed to call his family, and no one else told them their son was in a foreign jail.
“It was only when he was finally allowed to make a phone call that we learnt about his arrest,” said Krishna, Nitin's father,an accountant with a Mumbai-based shipping firm.
“We were shocked. We didn’t know where to begin trying to get him home.”
The Redekars contacted the Indian embassy in the Seychelles, who said they have visited Nitin and were aware of the case. “They said it was clear he was innocent. He would soon be set free.” said Krishna.
The only witness in the case was Nandkumar. Krishna went to his hometown in Kerala and persuaded him to depose before the court. “I paid for his travel and accommodation in Seychelles. But even his testimony didn’t help my son.”
Having exhausted all his savings on Nandkumar’s trip and the lawyer’s fees, Krishna is now forced to ask friends and relatives for money so he can file an appeal against the verdict.
“I have been writing to the prime minister and External Affairs Ministry but have got no response. The Indian embassy says they can now do little,” he said.Meanwhile, embassy officials say Nitin is being looked after well in prison. He works in the kitchen and is allowed to call home twice a week.

It was undoubtedly, foolishness on the part of Nitin to have accepted the packets. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Unfortunately for Nitin its a huge price to pay for this foolishness. I cant think of any way to provide help to him or his family (Any suggestions?) Lets help them in any way possible!!!

India at its best

THE F-WORD

"Behind every successful man.....
Is a woman"

How many times have you heard this line??? Counting the number of times its repeated in Indian movies and the soaps, I'm guessing that you have lost count of it(just like me). But recently when I heard that line again in one of the old Bollywood movies, it forced me to give it a thought. I'm not doubting its authenticity :-) But it made me think about the women(typical I know). Who was behind every successful woman???

I happily placed myself in the elite category of successful woman(Come on guys...I'm an engineer now:-D) Proclaiming myself as successful, I began to wonder as to whom I would credit my success to? My teachers? My books? My college? My school? Myself? The more I thought about it, the more it confused me. The inability to answer this simple question led to frustration. I decided to enjoy the movie and think about it later. I pushed the thought out of my mind or I thought I did. It never went completely out of my mind, this I realised while having dinner later that day. It was then that the first F-word hit me....FAMILY!!! Ofcourse its my family. I owe everything to my family. It is because of them that I'm here. The unconditional love, moral support, the confidence boost a family can provide, is unparalleled.Having quenched my thirst partially, I felt satisfied. (if you are wondering why partially, cos there is more to follow :-))

During one of the internals, when as usual we were cramming our brains with last minute preparations, Mayaa completely exhausted and dejected, exclaimed "Enough !!!". If the complicated diagrams in the text book were not enough to put you in a state of tizzy, you can always count on Mayaa.The full impact of what he meant was evident when he threw his book aside and got up to leave. Even before I could open my mouth, some of them pulled him back, opened the book for him and asked him to read the most important questions atleast." Read this part", "This is sure to be asked in the test", "This is simple, I'll explain" etc etc.. This is when the 2nd F-word hit me....FRIENDS !!!

After completing my test as I walked out, someone I hated(dont want to take names) walked upto me and said "The test was a cakewalk, wasn't it? I'm sure I'll score the highest". I gave a sarcastic smile and replied "Highly unlikely". I prayed to god and hoped to score atleast half a mark more than that person. That day I went back home and prepared for the next test with renewed vigour and interest. Hey, that was the third F.... FOES !!! The ones who give you a healthy competition and urge you to perform better.:-)
Next time, someone asks you the reason for your success, just reply back saying..."The F words" ;-)

THE SIAMESE TWINS

A small poem dedicated to the most colourful girls of our class Namarata and PP.
and this is in memory of the day when they entered into the data mining class with their brand new hair colour.

"The cluster analysis principle,
students, is not that simple"
Lincy mam tried in vain,
to get on-track, our wandering brain.

Her efforts seemed to be futile,
though catching an occassional smile,
from the dedicated first benchers,
while the rest planned adventures...
"Macha, munnar or waynad !!?!!"

At this point exactly,
over the hubbub of this clan,
came 2 voices silently,
"Can we come in mam?"

The siamese twins' entry,
with a distinct level of mystery...
for sure, broke our reverie.

Red shirt and blue hair,
Blue shirt and red hair.
They walked - in
nonchalantly to their seats.
while we did hear
loud drum rolls and beats.

Questions like....
"What was that?"
"who was that?"
did the rounds
forcing our mind to the grounds,
which few mins back knew no bounds.

Cluster analysis I say,
is not that tough after all,
because the siamese twins that day,
gave a perfect example to all.

and for the non engineering ppl... a cluster is a group of nodes which have similar properties within the clusters and differ wrt the nodes of diff clusters.. :-)

why the name amateur expert?

"better late than never"
I wanted to create a blog to pen my thoughts from many many days. But the only thing holding me back was the lack of time, and the lack of a name for my blog. And today all of a sudden while preparing for Cip my mind began to wander(as usual) and recollect the events spread across the 4 glorious years of my engineering life. I remembered signing up for IBM's the gr8 mind challenge :-) on the insistence of Chickerur sir. yes, we(pri, dee, pree n myself) spent an entire day deciding on the name for our team. "amateur expert" was the outcome of our imagination.
Looking at the zeal and enthusiasm on everyone's face after having signed up for the challenge, I thought we stood a good chance of winning the competition. And then the inevitable, 1 day into the competition and we backed out. WHAT A WASTE OF 1 DAY'S HARD WORK!!!
So i decided to put our hard work into some use and named my blog amateur expert. :-)